Okay, before you start invading my inbox with all sorts of grovelling , arse licking, desperately pleading emails, asking for financial assistance to send your Siamese quadruplets or your one legged, three eyed, four nosed, green haired sister for emergency death or death surgery, let me clarify one thing.......I'm not rich. Anyone who still buys a lottery ticket, or takes part in any sort of bet, get rich quick scheme, raffle or lucky dip is clearly not 'rich' by my standards. No matter how much money you have, if you still feel the need to have more then clearly you are not rich, the same goes for those who don't have much money but don't feel the need to have more......you are even worse off...I shan't give you a label, I receive enough hate mail as it is lol.
Okay so I'm not rich, right?.......wrong.... according to Sparkey* and 9 of its users. I woke up to a message in my hotmail inbox. Dear Miss Definitely Maybe, This is a summary of reasons that people gave when asked "Why would you date Miss Definitely Maybe ?" 1. hot (138 votes) 2. cute (49 votes) 3. fashionable (23 vote) 4. rich (9 vote) . Really???????!!! 9 guys would be willing to date me only coz of my perceived wealth???? I mean I know I am an incredibly sexy, hot, intelligent good looking mama, who would definitely make the thehappygoluckybachelor's Stunnas of the Month List if only i was willing to submit my portfolio (lol there is no shame in honesty, don't hate the genes......). I mean I have heard about a gold digging dude or two but 9???!! Don't get me wrong I'm all for equal opportunity dating and all, hell men have as much God given gold digging rights as us the fairer sex, jus as long it ain't no man of mine or my money they doing their digging at lol.....coz there ain't enough of it.....to....share. What with my shoe buying and shoe buying and shoe buying? I ain't Oprah n*$$as, I hold down a 9 to 5!!!
I'm not sure how this 'gold digging' dating thing would work though. Do i have to drive him to work then pick him up again? Take him and his friends to the movies and pay for all their corn? Will it be mandatory to take him shopping on Saturdays and pay his mobile pone bill even if 3/4 of the calls are to his friends? Do I have to help him out with his rent, treat his brothers and buy drinks for 10 of his friends in the club? Do i take him for dinner and he shows up with an entourage and I'm still expected to foot the bill? Do I have to buy him Valentine, Birthday and anytime presents that are better than all of his friends'? Am i expected to turn up at his door with flowers and candy or send him on 6 figure sum costing holidays around the world just so i can be labelled romantic? I'm not stingy at all, I'm damn well overly generous with a whole lotta sh*t in a relationship, quadruple orgasms, toe curling 'sutra' , there's a whole loada honey in this kitty Kat and I'm all for sharing (lol don't hate.....jus practice the yoga/pilate's) but when it comes to finances I only have one motto, 'If it don't pay interest then don't invest in it period.'
Truly some of this sh*t is enough to turn a sister gay...... or NOT..... becoz historically women are worse than guys when it comes to gold digging and its leaching practices. According to a biased, inaccurate, totally unreliable and grossly inaccurate survey I carried out (in my head) for every 9 gold digging sparkey using dudes there are probably 900 gold digging sparkey using females allegedly disguised among its 9000 strong black independent women.... So Sparkey if you are listening forget the good man or woman but just send me a rampant rabbit... Date me coz I'm rich??? How about Date me NOT!!!!!!
4 weeks ago