Guilty Pleasures..........

Some things are just not meant to be good for you, they might make you smile and become all warm and fuzzy inside but they are still not good for you. Guilty pleasures, our little slices of heaven with dollops of hell as dessert, irresistible you've just got to eat it, drink it,buy it, sell it , do it,have him, date her. Like moths to the light, caution thrown to the wind, fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Living in the moment, we become careless, like modern day Goliath's fearless of the impending consequences. That 12 oz cake at tea time, foolish impulsiveness, suddenly your dress size 8 becomes a 16, that one night stand behind the pub, steamy and sizzling without a thought that today's unprotected sex is tomorrows gonorrhea syphilis or HIV. What makes us live in the moment, so oblivious to the danger and repercussions to follow? What is it about our sense of being, that can make us throw months of hard work, tough fitness regime, careful budget ting, safe sex practices for the simple benefit of 2, 3 7 or maybe 20 minutes of pleasure followed by disproportionate amount of pain via weight gain, job loss, bankruptcy and STD's. As human beings have we some secret fetish for pain and suffering that we plunge headlong into the roaring flames and hope we come out unscathed? My guilty pleasure that isn't supposed to be good for me called last night. Yes none other than Yours Truly (YT), you are all probably sick of hearing his name, but maybe just maybe in the process of blogging him to death, I just might, even if its just a teeny itsy bit of a chance blog him right out of my heart!!. My heart skipped a bit, tummy doing somersaults grand enough to pre qualify me for the Chinese Olympics had I the stamina to enter. Knees weak, voice all squeaky and mousy, suddenly I'm transformed from the confident woman who was at the acceptance stage of grief and ready to embrace my singleness into this quivering jungle of a mess ready to scream 'take me Back' Take me Back YT suddenly weeks of a careful and long drawn effort to get over YT count for nought. My guilty pleasure, speaking to YT is my guilty pleasure, reminds me why I first feel in love with him, still am in love with him despite YT having RTS (returned to sender) the tiny little shreds of glass wrapped in cellophane, yes that was all that what was left of my heart when YT did the dirty with Face book friend. 3hrs of pure undiluted dollops of guilty pleasure hearing his voice across the miles, across the phone......... I'm caught in the moment, mindless of the fact that he broke my heart, mindless of the fact that it still hurts, mindless of the fact that I need time to recover, get him out of my system, heedless of the fact that when I get off the phone I'll probably cry......... Its pleasure and its guilty and I'm loving every single 180mins of it...... He cracks a joke I laugh..... pays a compliment and I blush.....he pauses......drops his voice and whispers "You know what Definitely Maybe, I've never stopped loving you," It is at that precise moment I realise that warm fuzzy feelings or no warm fuzzy feelings, some things no matter how much they make you smile and throw caution to the wind are still guilty pleasures.................. not meant to be good for you

.....And Lead us not into temptation

Not that I would ever want to be in Eve's position, yes that Eve, the Eve from the garden of Eden, that Eve who allegedly cursed all women kind into experiencing a somewhat terrifying version of Friday the 13th but with a happy ending called Child birth, lucky then that when she committed that fateful faux pas, did the deed with the serpent she was at that point the only female on earth. I shudder to think what would have happened to her had a lynch mob of women been present on the fateful day when Eve learnt her fate for her trespasses. Without a doubt Eve wouldn't have survived that indiscretion.....hell hath no fury like women who feel they are being punished for the indiscretions of another.
Okay in case you are wondering I'm not going to go all Hallelujah brother Jesus on you. I got thinking about Eve coz sometime this afternoon definitely Maybe felt as if she was having that same conversation Eve had with the serpent in Eden. Only that DM's Eden was her desk during a lunch break and the serpent none other than 'The One who Got Away' henceforth known as TOWGA for short. Now don't be confusing Yours Truly (YT) with Towga. Towga was way before YT's time (yeah between you and I, I've been round the block a bit). Towga would have been my back up spouse just in case things did not go according to plan with YP ( well obviously save for the small glitch in the plan which was in the form of Towga's current live in girlfriend and the daughter they have together....but that's a story for another post). Towga was the love of my youth before the love of my entire life universe and soul YT came into the picture. Towga is the one that taught me all about love before I went to the State of the art Swiss finishing school called YT, You get the drift YT was the main actor and Towga the under study, Towga a pretty good meat free vegan substitute to YT's 12oz T Bone steak of a man. Not that I'm planning to eat any of the two but no doubt if I was to pick any man in the world who YT had to fear in terms of urpsing him from being Mr Definitely Maybe, then it wouldn't be Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Blair Underwood (well i tell I lie it would have been Blair Underwood had there been even the faintest whiff that I could bag him ) but for the purposes of this post it was Towga. Not that YT had anything to fear from Towga , after all in my eyes YT was the world's greatest, right up there with Muhammad Ali not that I've had Muhammad Ali that is (but if he is offering....). Okay so back to the garden of Eden...Towga phones me this afternoon (having caught wind of the fact that Definitely Maybe is single again via the evil medium of face book updates). After asking about my health ( not the sexual health that would have been too obvious wouldn't it?), he drops the bombshell, Live in Girlfriend plus daughter are away visiting the in laws in Zimbabwe and his decided to take a little vacation and catch up with Definitely Maybe visit for a few days, nothing dodgy everything above board. (yeah right I'm thinking I know the kind of catching up you wanting to do alright.......). I must admit I was tempted, nothing like a rebound relationship without the potential to go anywhere, to help me get over YT and propel me right into the I'm single and I'm going to make the most of it phase. But I don't roll like that, as much as it sounds tempting YT is very much a part of who I am and it would take someone twice maybe thrice as nice as YT and definitely more than 10times as nice as Towga (minus the complications of the live in girlfriend and the daughter) to get Miss Definitely Maybe to get past the I miss YT phase into the 'Can someone please taste my kitty Kat stage' so as my cellphone rings and I see once again its Towga on the prowl, I cant help but say a quick prayer, Lord please lead me not into temptation....................