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MY MOTHER'S CHILD

'I live in a space inside my head,a cluttered space crammed with random thoughts about life, love and the struggle of being a 27yr old african woman trying to 'find' herself but losing her self in the process.I always vowed when I was growing up that I would do things differently from my mother. As the years have gone by I find myself modelling my life on the woman I thought I wasn't strong enough to become,'(If you ever have the chance to meet my mother even once, to be given the chance to be half the woman my mother is, you will know that you have been truly blessed) Finally I have had to embrace the fact, that I'm nothing but My Mother's Child....

Monday, October 20, 2008

About a boy .......................

I've met a boy
The cutest boy
and my knees went all wobbly and weak
I've met a boy
The sweetest man
and I want the whole world to know.....

His smile is contagious
His laugh is infectious
Im smiling again
And laughing once more
and all because I've met a boy

I love the way
he waves his dreadlocked head
and tosses his locks from side to side
his manly chest
so rippled and fit
gives me the goosebumps
I can no longer eat

I love the way he says my name
he rolls the R's and drops the Es
His soapy romantic
I swear its a dream
he loved holding my hand
as we strolled through the park.

I love the way he plays with my hair
and gives me piggy back rides
all the way from the park.

I've connected with nature
got rainbows and moonlights
sunshine in my soul
I've got butterfly flutters in ma tummy
and ants in my pants
Im convinced Im a star
see my eyes sparkle
jus coz his here.

I love the way my toes curl up
when he sings a song
strums an imiginary guitar
and does awkward impressions of Jojo the clown.
his funny
his silly
his just what I need
my first Aid box of sunshine
to heal me when blue

he makes me coacoa with extra sugar
puts silly notes through the door
sends me postcards and candy
with his favourite sweets taken out!!

he makes me laugh at the unfunniest jokes
and makes me blush the strangest of shades
his caramel lips
so tender and sweet
making me wish I could stand on tiptoe
and kiss them shut

he reads me stories at bedtime
with endings made up
of princes and fairies and kissing a frog.
he draws all my curtains
and fluffs up my pillows
he would tuck me in bed
If only I would ask.

I've met a boy
The cutest boy
and my knees went all wobbly and weak
I've met a boy
My perfect man
........ and yet I havent told him so.

okay I wrote this three weeks ago, remember i told you i met a guy and promised to write about it ? well i tried to put into words what happened but i couldnt find the right words so instead I wrote a poem. I know you would probably want to know what happened next, but again can't really find the right words so wrote another poem just now.........

It should be so easy
to say yes when he says be my woman
Not to pull away when he tries to hold my hand
To let him hug me for a few seconds longer, past the point of being jus friends..
It should be so easy
To let him love me like i deserve to be loved
To let myself go, give in to the passion, the love, the warmth,
It should be so easy
To let go of the past,
To let him be strong enough for me, emotionally, physically, spiritually
To trust that he will always be here
it could be so easy
new year, new start,new man,new beginnings
all i need to do is say yes
and yet
and yet I keep saying NO.
It should be so easy
But damn, Im finding it so hard.

52 comments:

Shubby Doo said...

1st...na wa for me o!

Shubby Doo said...

your first poem put a big smile on my face...i sooo needed that...thank u...but 3 weeks eh?! i know it is hard but for my sake abeg get on with it and tell me what happened next...lol

IDK said...

awwww....im second..ill take it...luv d first poem...put a giggly smile on my face...read the second peom...now my smile's jus plain wistful...

ShonaVixen said...

I'm third!!!yay....
somehow whilst reading the first poem i composed my own song for ya MDM and u sing it to Kate Perry's 'I kissed a girl' which is 'Miss DM met a boy and she liked him'...lol..sorry it just happened!
so what happened next hon???you said no to the cute boy wiv da dreadlocks??

Invisible said...

WOW!!! That 1st poem is something o. Someone should come and write it for me now. Sting, where's my poem?

(vixenchick) said...

loving that 2nd poem! you are so talented!

Judy D. said...

first off, thanks for yr comment, it REALLY meant a lot to me, i needed that...

secondly, i am soo feeling that way, like the second poem way. i mean there is this guy :) and i dunno... i want to give in, but i am afraid of seeing what that could mean... ::deep sigh::

i dunno

:(

Jaycee said...

"...he reads me stories at bedtime
with endings made up
of princes and fairies and kissing a frog."


Wow...looks like you get butterflies in your tummy any time you see him. It's an excellent thing that you're being careful on ur response...he can be oh-so-sweet, but is he the right man for u?

But the first poem was romantic, and I was chuckling to myself as I read it...

poeticallytinted said...

Awww... this is the stuff fairytale romance is made of. Get to know him really well first before getting in too deep. Let the intial knee weakening feeling wear off a bit. Your first poem reminds me of a song I absolutely love. Dunno if you know it but here are the lyrics to Dinah Washington's Mad about the boy:

Mad about the boy
I know it's stupid to be mad about the boy
I'm so ashamed of it but must admit the sleepless nights I've had
About the boy

On the silverscreen
He melts my foolish heart in every single scene
Although I'm quite aware that here and there are traces of the cad
About the boy

Lord knows I'm not a fool girl
I really shouldn't care
Lord knows I'm not a school girl
In the fury of her first affair

Will it ever cloy
This odd diversity of misery and joy
I'm feeling quite insane and young again
And all because I'm mad about the boy

So if I could employ
A little magic that will finally destroy
This dream that pains me and enchains me
But I can't because I'm mad...
I'm mad about the boy

doll said...

mhh!

exschoolnerd said...

the poem was real nice....we all wish we had someone that makes us feel dt way..

~Sirius~ said...

MDM and New man sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
Girl! you are love stoned!......also confused, also scared, also protecting your heart all at the same time. Gee...
It's never easy,Good things never come easy, what if you try things differently, you know - live for the day, live it like it you wouldn't regret it, eventually the days grow to weeks, then months then years.....keeping your fingers crossed
But first, Let go of your past.

miz-cynic said...

me i dont know abt the skeptism o. everyone is saying they are afraid....have guys dealt with we women tht much tht we are now afraid to love. na wah o!

Jarrai said...

Gurl!! This is too damn cute...gave me goose bumps :)

Take it slow...start by letting him hold your hand..then hug him a lil longer...you never know, cupid has a way of aiming his bow straight to the heart.

Naapali said...

I like the music of the first. I can picture Corinne Bailey Rae singing it as she dances in Kew Gardens, hopping from one flower to another.

Laughter said...

Awww i want that too, it made me smile. Sometimes it is good to let go but also be on the alert to c if he is d one. hmnn nice poem babes.

rayo said...

first one sounds like a song, lovely words. undestand ur feelins on the second, hope it all works out 4 u

aloted said...

Hmmmmmmmm
love is in the air...I love the poems but pls come and break it down for us o...

:)

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Shubby, first 4 times in a row???? Are you 'doing' someone at blogger coz it seems a bit suspect lol

IDK, have you ever subconsciously started smiling coz you thought of someone? Thats what i do have this stupid grin on my face at such inappropriate times.

Shona, lol you are too late the x factor auditions have come and gone....have you ever bought an amazing pair of shoes, so amazing that you were afraid to wear them in case you ruined them, so you spend months gazing at them in the box afraid to wear them giving the excuse that when the right occassion comes along........

Invisible, i have a gut feeling that were it 'the boy' who had written a poem for me it would be markedly different and all about the frustrations of trying to love/heal a girl with a broken heart.

Vixenchick, thanks but i wish i ws more talented in matters of the heart.....

Judy D, I dont know whats better to love and be hurt or to never love and never be hurt?

Jaycee, its not only when I see him, its when i think about him......its all really ridiculous I get all shy as if im 13 and he is my first high school crush....thats why the poem is 'about a boy'

Poeticallytinted, will look up the song by Dinah Washington on youtube, as for being in too deep I dont even know if i want to put my feet in the water, at the moment im just enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling.

Doll, lol i too am lost for words.

Exschoolnerd, yes we do, but i think the feeling needs to be mutual, most of the times we get hurt coz we feel that way but the guy doesnt.....so pray that if you ever feel that way about a guy, he feels that way about you too.

Buttercup said...

Wow MDM..wow..

I hope he fulfils all ur fantasies..emotionally, physically n otherwise!

Bondgirl said...

wow, madam i loved the first poem because it was such a sweet one. like the second one too but my advice is throw caution to the wind and step out and feel the love of someone

Just...Toluwa said...

am cheesing..i dunno y...read both poems and i found myself smiling like a lil girl!

Rita said...

Just reminds me of innocent, fresh love...so so sweet...

It's like great things are happening in ur life...please let it not be so hard to say yes...though with ur wisdom.

FineBoy Agbero said...

Wow!!! Very nice "agreeable" poem! The 1st one, dat is...

I just met a gal like ur guy and she's still shacking me!

But, ahn-ahn, gree for d guy now. Abi wetin?

Aijay said...

Wow!!! When did all this happen?! Cupid just struck somebody. lol...
Have fun luv! Follow ur heart.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Sirius, thats what i need to do...let go of my past, make sure im well and truly over YT, The boy is too good for me to ruin it by making him a rebound guy

Mz Cynic, I tell you guys have done much worse to us than we actually let on!!!!!

Jarrai, im trying to take it slow, two months ago i had given up on love.....the fact that im now considering the possibility of dating someone else is a HUGE step forward

Naapali, its a song alright, my heart has been singing it for the past three weeks ;-)

Laughter, you always make me smile, Im glad that for once, I too made you smile.

Rayo, I hope it works out for all of us (well the ladies up in here) coz we all deserve to be happy

Aloted, lol be patient I too dont even understand whats going on but when I do you will definitely be in the know

flabby said...

aaaw- this made me wanna cry (maybe im just in a teary mood)

Just enjoy the feeling..i'm not sure it lasts forever!

xx

Kin'shar said...

Hey you met my boi...how are you?



Nice!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Buttercup, we havent started fulfilling each others 'anythings' yet lol

Bondgirl, Im tempted but last time i threw caution to the wind, the wind turned out to be hurricane Katrina ......left me in shreds and it took awhile to get over it

Just Toluwa, he makes me smile and get all coy like a little girl so now you know how i feel

Rita, thats whats making me so scared, im so used to having such bad luck that now im thinking whats the catch......

Fineboy Agbero, lucky you if you guys are still going strong, whats the secret?

Aijay, my heart is just as confused as my head, but with the credit crunch and all mebbe i should just say yes so i can get a big ass xmas present lol jus kidding

Flabby, if its not going to last forever then I will just leave it coz the heartache when it ends is a 10000000000 worse than the flutters you feel when you still in love

Kin'shar your boo or your boy? Dont play like that I got a weak heart lol,......one hell of a boi yo've got there

Kin'shar said...

lol, your so funny. He is my boo, and I feel you on this posting here...check my blog, I always write about him, take care!

Lolia said...

Awwwwwww I know the feeling! Hopefully everything will work out for you...Wishing you all the best darling! :)

Tairebabs said...

this is soooooo sweet, but you have let go and enjoy love!!! The poems were awesome.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

I love the poem about the boy! It had me grinning from ear to ear!!

Sola Folowosele said...

uummm!poetry so sweet, so creative..i love your art!

Sola Folowosele said...

...and your heart too. Yes,i could see your heart in your art!

rethots said...

Hmmm, beyond me.

Ouch! short of which, you don't get the mails i send for every comment you drop on rethots?

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Kin'shar, in that case we will just have to share lol

Lolia, glad somebody has once felt what I feel, for a moment I thought i was insane...well actually I am a bit insane but you know what i mean.

Tairebabs, thanks, i thought people only got cold feet just before a wedding......a heart that has been hurt in the past gets cold feet when it gets to the point it wants to trust somebody again.

Nigeriandramaqueen, if the poem makes you grin from ear to ear wait till you meet him and you will actually split your head open by grinning way past your ears lol

Sola Folowosele....wow your comment has a rythm that i loved......seeing my heart in my art....wish i could carry my heart on my sleeve, instead of hiding it deep down in the depths of my being...were it on my sleeve maybe it would not be hard for him to find, to embrace and to own.

Rethots, sorry about the email thing its just that mine has my full name and surname, if i revealed it then I couldnt be totally honest in my blog.....friends?

Temite said...

oh my gosh MDM!!! I am so jealous of you o. The beggining is always the best of times. So erhhmmm I am going to be nosey and ask - Did u do the DO????

Kin'shar said...

Hey watch that....I dont share







nope, not at all, ask him!!

Brown Butterfly said...

please date him. For me. I would give my left arm for someone that sweet....and someone who isn't only interested in shagging me. And fine, too?? GIRRRRRLLLLL.....hahaha! ;-)

Best of luck to you two, babygirl. :-)

geisha.song. said...

your poems are so sweet..
the first so bubbly and happy and free to just be,
the second so hesitant and scared and uncertain...
i think you should take your time with him, take things slow but don't let it grind to a halt jus because you're scared.
After what u went thru with the x it's only normal for you to be hesitant to commit again, but let him know why you're scared, and if he's there for YOU he'll understand, and will be there waiting when you heal.

Eb the Celeb said...

if he has you writing poetry about him already he must be a looker

Standtall said...

Interesting. Pls tell him so and dont make it hard (lol)

Poeticallytinted too? You are mad about the boy? Hmmm

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Temite, Do the do? His struggling to get me to let him hold my hand so doing the do is many moons and many dreams away lol

Kinshar, lol he is all yours for now, im taking it slow.....may the best woman win lol

Brownbutterfly, lets make a deal if I am going to date him for you, if he breaks my heart will you trade me your heart for mine so that you can feel the pain on my behalf?

Geisha song, you have put into words what I struggled to say without using the nedium of poetry.

Eb the Celeb, he is much more than just a looker, he is a looker with a big heart.

Standtall, I want to tell him something but am not sure right now what that something is.

B-More BAP said...

Girl, both of those pieces are incredible -->touched me from within.

Say Yes! Say Yes! Say Yes! LOL

Dammy said...

Trust me, I know how that feels!

'To be or not to be, this is the question'


Hope you are able to make up your mind soon...

howdy?

clnmike said...

Now that was a good poem.

Kin'shar said...

LOL, just kidding sweets....




You win, go for him....I dont think they come any sweeter...even mine dont fluff my pillow and tuck me in... (^_^)

Standtall said...

oh, okay.

Miss Mahogany said...

Just passing through. Lovely post, very sincere and open. Perhaps you'll find it "easier" as time passes. Great blog by the way :)

Da Hunni Toya said...

awww good poet I see

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