Desperately.........Loving you Desperately

Unrequited love.......the bitter sweet pain of unrequited love. Have you ever loved someone so much that no matter how much they don’t love you, or push you away the more you try harder and harder for them to love you? Have you ever begged and begged for forgiveness from someone who you know should be the one apologising to you, but you do it all the same because you don’t want to lose them? Have you ever bought someone expensive designer clothes that you wouldn’t normally buy for yourself in the hope that they will appreciate you even more?

Have you ever spent more than half your wages buying gifts for someone hoping that somehow they will see how much you treasure them and treasure you right back? Have you ever asked how high, when some one said jump, not because they are holding a gun to your head but just because they are holding a gun to your heart? Have you ever played the he(she) loves me, he(she) loves me not game, plucking petals off an oxy-daisy and praying fervently that the last petal is 'he(she) loves me?'

Have you ever given someone money that’s meant for your mortgage so that they could go on an exotic cruise,knowing full well that if you don’t pay your mortgage you will lose the keys to your house, but you do so all the same because you want to unlock the keys to their heart and find a space you can fit? Have you ever done that stupid love game where you write your name and somebody else’s then cross out identical letters just to find out what percentage that person loves you and then making a deliberate mistake so that it reads 80% and not 8%. Have you ever fished for compliments from someone and when those compliments are not forthcoming you fish again and again and again until they label you shallow when all you want is for them to know you are there? Have you ever received 64 good luck cards but broke into tears because the one card, from that one person just wasnt there?

have you ever spent money in a month (that could pay someone's rent for two months)on make up or clothes to make yourself look pretty on the outside so that maybe someone will begin to see that you are beautiful on the inside too? Have you ever given more than you could afford to and then keep on giving so that someone will start to believe you are a gift to them too? Have you ever read books you would not normally read, gone to shows you would not normally watch, wear clothes you would not normally wear, done activities you secretly hate doing, just because you secretly hope that when someone discovers you have something in common they will appreciate you even more? Have you ever prayed fervently for days/years or months trying to bargain with God so that someone could love you back? Have you ever said only wonderfuland amazing things about someone, hoping that one day they would say at least just one wonderful thing about you? So have you, have you ever?

Have you ever even if it’s secretly wondered, whether juju to make someone love you back really does works? Have you ever laughed when someone says hurtful jokes about you hoping that they will think you have a good sense of humour and spend more time in your company? Have you ever felt like walking away from someone but instead you cling even closer? Have you ever achieved more than anyone else you know, and still striving to achieve more than all the people you don’t know, not because you are power driven, but love driven in the hope that perhaps someone you love will realise how talented you are, how amazing you are and finally tell u that u are not a waste of space but you are actually special?

Unrequited love....should you give up? Should you let go? Is it self esteem issues or you develop the self esteem problems due to unrequited love? Is it foolish? Is it futile? Is it not worth it? Is it stupid? Is it stalking? Is it madness? Is it desperation? Loving someone so much, that you would do anything for them, no matter how stupid or harmful it is to you, you would still do it.Desperately.......loving someone with every ounce of your flesh, every vein in your heart....loving someone even though it hurts....loving someone even more than you have ever loved yourself....Being desperately in love with someone.....loving someone as if your whole world, your whole life depended on it.So have you? Have you ever? Have you ever loved someone......desperately?....Maybe there are more trees in the forest, some say there are more fish in the sea......maybe if you miss a bus you do catch another............but not, not if that tree, that fish, or that bus is known as your mother.



(Please let me know in the comments section if you've ever done something stupid, silly or crazy (in hindsight) just because you loved someone? The crazier the better lol)