No Sex in this City ................

There should be a law against having wall shaking, floor thudding, window rattling, bed breaking, mind blowing sex (yes Sho' am talking to you lol), particularly if you live in an apartment above someone who isn't getting any, or hasn't been getting any for a while. Surely its just good neighbourliness, it makes sense, in the same way as you wouldn't eat your KFC bucket with extra large fries and two large sides in front of starving kids at a refugee camp in Somalia.

Okay bad analogy cause I'm not starving, 'starving' would mean that I am hungry yet no 'food' is available, which is not true coz the 'food' can be made available yet I'm choosing not to eat lol maybe I'm becoming sexnorexic. But seriously its been exactly 9 months since I last got laid. The first 4 of those were hell, mainly because I was still in a long distance relationship and I missed my man so much going to bed alone was intolerable, so to make me feel better we had more phone sex during those 4 months than the rest of Holland put together, I use Holland as an example coz the rest of Europe is ultra conservative. The last 5 months have been completely erotic free, meaning no sex, no alternatives to sex, no plans to get sex and very little thoughts about sex lol. Its kinda like being on a diet, the first 3 weeks are hard work (apparently it takes that long for your pallet to change)and then afterwards you get used to the 'diet' it becomes a routine, second nature, you wonder how a few months back you could possibly eat cream cakes 3 times a day, or wake up in the middle of the night for a banana or two?

So having successfully managed to keep my apartment a 'sex free zone' for 5 months running, you can imagine my frustration of having to endure night after night of 'oh Johnny oh Johnny ha ha ha oh Johnny Johnny ha ha ha Johnny oh Johnny ohhh ha ha ha johnny Johnny oh oh ha ha ha....... seriously how many times can one say Johnny in a minute followed by laughter then thuds, rattling more ha ha has a few Johnny's' a couple of oohs more rattling or ha ha has then a few high pitched Johnny's' then comes my favourite part of the evening.....silence, total silence. Five months is a long time in Sex-land so maybe am a bit out of touch but since when has sex become so funny that one has to say an average of 20 ha ha Ha's a minute? I know for definite that Johnny upstairs ain't no Chris Rock, he's an Electrician by trade lol so naturally i'm curious as to the cause /source of those ha ha Ha's......anyone with a hyperactive imagination to help me out?

So when was the last time you had noisy, wall shaking, floor thudding, window rattling, bed breaking, mind-blowing sex? (and please no answers on postcards, keep it to yourselves thank you!). But seriously who ever told people that making more noise or making the apartment expierence a mini earthquake(all the rattling and shaking) means you are enjoying it a whole lot? Once upon a time, in an era long gone, the most I could manage if i was really enjoying myself were one syllable words, anything longer meant my mind wasn't yet blown away lol.I'm not hating on my horny neighbours upstairs, or cussing the building company for making low quality apartments with paper thin walls, all i'm saying is.....Santa for Christmas please bring me one gaint pair of ear muffs , or better still wave your magic wand so that jus for a day, today, there is no noisy, wall shaking, floor thudding, window rattling, bed breaking, mind-blowing sex in this city!!!!