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MY MOTHER'S CHILD

'I live in a space inside my head,a cluttered space crammed with random thoughts about life, love and the struggle of being a 27yr old african woman trying to 'find' herself but losing her self in the process.I always vowed when I was growing up that I would do things differently from my mother. As the years have gone by I find myself modelling my life on the woman I thought I wasn't strong enough to become,'(If you ever have the chance to meet my mother even once, to be given the chance to be half the woman my mother is, you will know that you have been truly blessed) Finally I have had to embrace the fact, that I'm nothing but My Mother's Child....

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Date Me, coz I'm Rich ..............

Okay, before you start invading my inbox with all sorts of grovelling , arse licking, desperately pleading emails, asking for financial assistance to send your Siamese quadruplets or your one legged, three eyed, four nosed, green haired sister for emergency death or death surgery, let me clarify one thing.......I'm not rich. Anyone who still buys a lottery ticket, or takes part in any sort of bet, get rich quick scheme, raffle or lucky dip is clearly not 'rich' by my standards. No matter how much money you have, if you still feel the need to have more then clearly you are not rich, the same goes for those who don't have much money but don't feel the need to have more......you are even worse off...I shan't give you a label, I receive enough hate mail as it is lol.

Okay so I'm not rich, right?.......wrong.... according to Sparkey* and 9 of its users. I woke up to a message in my hotmail inbox. Dear Miss Definitely Maybe, This is a summary of reasons that people gave when asked "Why would you date Miss Definitely Maybe ?" 1. hot (138 votes) 2. cute (49 votes) 3. fashionable (23 vote) 4. rich (9 vote) . Really???????!!! 9 guys would be willing to date me only coz of my perceived wealth???? I mean I know I am an incredibly sexy, hot, intelligent good looking mama, who would definitely make the thehappygoluckybachelor's Stunnas of the Month List if only i was willing to submit my portfolio (lol there is no shame in honesty, don't hate the genes......). I mean I have heard about a gold digging dude or two but 9???!! Don't get me wrong I'm all for equal opportunity dating and all, hell men have as much God given gold digging rights as us the fairer sex, jus as long it ain't no man of mine or my money they doing their digging at lol.....coz there ain't enough of it.....to....share. What with my shoe buying and shoe buying and shoe buying? I ain't Oprah n*$$as, I hold down a 9 to 5!!!

I'm not sure how this 'gold digging' dating thing would work though. Do i have to drive him to work then pick him up again? Take him and his friends to the movies and pay for all their corn? Will it be mandatory to take him shopping on Saturdays and pay his mobile pone bill even if 3/4 of the calls are to his friends? Do I have to help him out with his rent, treat his brothers and buy drinks for 10 of his friends in the club? Do i take him for dinner and he shows up with an entourage and I'm still expected to foot the bill? Do I have to buy him Valentine, Birthday and anytime presents that are better than all of his friends'? Am i expected to turn up at his door with flowers and candy or send him on 6 figure sum costing holidays around the world just so i can be labelled romantic? I'm not stingy at all, I'm damn well overly generous with a whole lotta sh*t in a relationship, quadruple orgasms, toe curling 'sutra' , there's a whole loada honey in this kitty Kat and I'm all for sharing (lol don't hate.....jus practice the yoga/pilate's) but when it comes to finances I only have one motto, 'If it don't pay interest then don't invest in it period.'

Truly some of this sh*t is enough to turn a sister gay...... or NOT..... becoz historically women are worse than guys when it comes to gold digging and its leaching practices. According to a biased, inaccurate, totally unreliable and grossly inaccurate survey I carried out (in my head) for every 9 gold digging sparkey using dudes there are probably 900 gold digging sparkey using females allegedly disguised among its 9000 strong black independent women.... So Sparkey if you are listening forget the good man or woman but just send me a rampant rabbit... Date me coz I'm rich??? How about Date me NOT!!!!!!

90 comments:

mizchif said...

Yay!!! I'm first.

Tell it sister. My money is really not enuff to share with any man......yet.
Though i'd rather have the rabbit heart throb tho!

RocNaija said...

Nah! Nah!! You got it twisted..
I heard it's not as technical as the long list you made..
They just ask for the Black Mastercard..

~Sirius~ said...

LOL!

Gosh......The things we use our eyes to see.

I mean, 9 guys actually clicked on that option........
You probably don't want to mess with them- I believe one gold digging guy is = to 10 gold digging girls! and you do know how them gold digging girls can be.

They had better Not date you At all....The rabbit will do just fine.

K said...

CHURCH MDM! Tell em how it is!

lol @ roc naija and the black master card...

My motto's in dating and money:

a)if you must dig, be ambitious go to the top...don't date the son if the father is the one that signs the cheques...lol

b)Refuse to answer to gold digger....you are a miner if you are in the big leagues

c)Last but not least I can do broke all on my own and in fact have been doing so all these years so why do I need a man who drains my finances? I don't need a co-partner in debt!

Funms-the rebirth said...

whats sparkey?
yes o, they should not date u at all cuz in addition to ur list, u have to take care of his parents, help them complete their village mansion........
so im with u, i'd settle for the rabbit!
how have u been darling?
and btw im in the list of ur frequent commentators and ur not in mine....hehehe

ShonaVixen said...

I made it to the Top Ten!!!yay...hmmm gold diggers, i know of them and yes they're guys..such a shame really!!Ok, hon i'll come and comment again, m sneezing, coughing and have lost my voice yup Shona can't speak @ the moment!!

Buttercup said...

Yay! Top 10!

Buttercup said...

Yay! Top 10!

Buttercup said...

LMAO!

So sparkey is a facebook app, eh? If theres a way the identity of those 9 dudes can be revealed, DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

RocNaija said...

@ K.. Option 'a' = "..not a man with a large bank account, I want the man who owns the bank".. Talk about ambition!

@MDM, mizchif & Funms.. I sell batteries p/time. Credit crunching offers!!

Temite said...

I am very confused right about now. Errr by rabbit you mean ....errrr rabbit? like the rabbit rabbit or like the animal rabbit? seee I am so lost. I mist def dont want a broke nigg*, I can handle that well well.

Just...Toluwa said...

like Temite..rabbit?

but em, wat man wants to come and be with me bcos am rich? ehn, let him come...as far he is ready to sweep the house, wash dishes, do my laundry, call me "Ma" and all for the money he is getting..nottin is for free my dear. Mschew!

Nefertiti said...

OMG, u ar one hella funny, carzy chica.... WTH is sparky? lol..

** off to investigate it.
Tell it!

wordmerchant said...

Lmao!! these dudes are seriouly shameless...hahahaha.

So they want ur muula ££££...well it is credit crunch darling and boys gotta eat too :)

You should name and shame them...gold digging dudes lol!!!
Seriously, the ying yang balance of the universe is no more.

Funms-the rebirth said...

temite, temite, temite! rabbit means rabbit....vibrators! etc....erm must i teach u everything? ehn?

Confessions of a London gal said...

Miss DM- i think i am gonna need a heads-up wen upost o! cos i never get 2 be 1st around here anymore *sulk*
Ok sulking over...the way u listed all these things got me thinking that do girls really expect ALL of that from guys? If they do, i am yet 2 meet a man willing to provide all of that o!

bArOquE said...

missDM, i'll date you NOT because you're rich but basically so that i wont do all those things that you dont want to be doing for the gold digging fellaz...LOL

doll said...

LMAO. Babes I see you are back

Writefreak said...

well...i think there's love in sharing! lol

Saved Girl said...

LOL, you write the funniest posts. what an interesting poll...and even more interesting what the guys said.

Rita said...

I guess it is a response to our quest for women being equal to men...

I did not find it funny when one guy was lying on a couch daydreaming of how he will get married to a woman that will take care of him - financially. I told him to go and get a life! And he said men are scarce and women would do anything for them...

rethots said...

Ouch! ...and while she is still contemplating the reason for her being dated, he came by and swept her off her feet. Wow! she goes blushing *thinking* how did he do it, i wasn't even aware.

Afrobabe said...

I have been had by a guy...not a good feeling, has turned me stingy by all guys...

CultureCynic said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG you get me every time LMAO!!! men these days are just shameless innit... Speak on it!!!!!!!!!!

chomy

Smaragd said...

lmao!

Miss def Maybe, u are definitely having a moment! if ur last three posts are any indication...lol

Jaguda said...

gold digging gold diggers ! who needs em eh?

LusciousRon said...

The post is funny oh boy! I had a good laugh with all the comments.
Fumms you don't have to teach Temite now just send her a picture. Hehehe

Geebee said...

Golddigging is a business that has been going on since time immemorial . . . even Adam was a golddigger and that’s why he collected the fruit from Eve when he knew God said he should ‘never eat it’. The man thought of what he would miss if he refused the fruit. Now I take that back. That sounds blasphemous. . . 9 guys would be willing to date you because you’re rich. It’s really not unusual. Trust me, there could have been a lot more. Naturally, we all want that comfort and security that wealth has to offer and come to think of it, the world has so changed these days that most brovas (including me) would rather date a rich girl than a broke ass babe. Who said money cannot buy love. It sure as hell can.

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...

lol...a rampant rabbit....sister girl just google phallix...i have heard once you try glass...plastic aint worth its money no more...

i remember singing the words of destiny's child's independent woman to my ex ...
'The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
I've bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it'

my ex just stood there and smiled sheepishly...can you imagine...then i stopped and said to him 'not that i'll buy it...i have bought it!!!...truth was i had bought his very expensive watch that he was wearing...chai!

i so do not mix love and my money anymore...no...

but his money...yes!!!

Platinum Diva said...

just wait the right guy will come along soon.
your number one.... xox

Laughter said...

Egbele o!!! Now am sure the worls has turned upside down, babes, abeg what is sparkey o? They are not even worth dating, after all fine girl like you need a strong man not a leech.
A better one is on his ways babes.

bob-ij said...

Wow...this is my first time here and I'm super entertained from the descriptions to the images and now to this post!

You'll be stunned to know how many men go out with women just because they have money... all you need is one long look @ celeb life...U SEE??

As for the ladies...we're becoming a little self-dependent even though I was quite shocked to find how many extremely young ones that want sugar daddys and will even date married men!

Is it worth it?...Don't think so but people's needs are different.

And those who don't have and don't want to look for, I'm guessing they are really selfless (GOOD!) or not in the least ambitious(BAD!)

x!

Funms-the rebirth said...

Miss DM......... why art thou been so busy for bogville...... how r u darling???

Funms-the rebirth said...

yay u made it....... congratulations on being no 2 on the loyal readers' list....... i have dedicated apost to u

Buttercup said...

MISS DM YOU ARE TRYING ME O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T MESS WITH QUEEN B!!!!!!!!!!

Buttercup said...

and so i'm back...

Buttercup said...

to take over the number 1 spot..

Buttercup said...

Shona V, please dont be mad at me!

Buttercup said...

now i dunno what to say..

Buttercup said...

Miss DM, see what u've caused..

Buttercup said...

its 2:08am..

Buttercup said...

..and im here doing this..

Buttercup said...

i really don't care tho..

Buttercup said...

im bored..

Buttercup said...

so this is a welcome distraction..

Buttercup said...

let me go and check my progress..

Buttercup said...

brb!

Funms-the rebirth said...

B'cup, u got to be kidding me..... lol......... u know Miss DM knows people that know some people that know some people in SA.... fear for ur life ooooooooo, i rest my case

Buttercup said...

hahahaha! and i equally know people who know people who know people in the UK!

Buttercup said...

queen elizabeth, or elizzle as i call her, is my dawg mayn..

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Funms, tell her sweets.
I defnitely know people that know people that used o know people lol

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! at Elizzle

girl you gone all cuckooo
Chari please come remove your babe from blogvile before she starts taking off all her clothes and talking to herself lol

K said...

JOBLESSNESS.......

Buttercup said...

i've got too much class to do that mehn..

LOL!

Buttercup said...

@ K..i knoooooooooow!

Buttercup said...

let me go check my progress..

Buttercup said...

the damn thing hasnt updated!

Buttercup said...

miss dm, u have refused to let the thing update so i wudnt be able to know my progres, yea?

Buttercup said...

*progress

Buttercup said...

now im making typos..

Buttercup said...

i think my bed is calling my name..

Buttercup said...

i'll be back tomorrow to see my progress..

Mimi ♥ said...

Lol. and you know whats so funny, Gold digging females don't see no wrong in what their doinq. smh.. no damn shame.. just imagine how they live on their own. they're just "worthless"

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Buttercup
Girl you crazy
but i still love you anyway lol
Shona and Shubby will come wallop your ass,
Thank God you have Chari
you will definitely need the male protection
COz those women are complete mercenaries (in a sexy, powerful, I can handle my bizniz and deliver the goods, all by myself kind of way)
Dont say I didnt warn you

Shubby Doo said...

oh no she didn't...buttercup...what nonsense is this...now i am third...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

p.s
don't let me find u o! chari cannot save u from this mischif

Shubby Doo said...

Buttercup u need to come back and delete these comments...

Shubby Doo said...

buttercup how u no sabi 'age before beauty'...(yes i am beautiful and so is shonavixen but i want to illustrate a point) that u cannot just come and chance me and shona like that...kai!

Shubby Doo said...

BUTTERCUP correct this nonsense...kia kia...

LOL

p.s
me 2 don tire...i go leave shona to do the rest!!!

Buttercup said...

@ miss dm..i know im crazy but people cant help but love me still, u inclusive....thanx for the warning..lol!

Buttercup said...

@ shubby..heheheheehehe! :D

Buttercup said...

OMG! im first! i made it!!!!!!!!!!

Parakeet said...

Hahaha MDM, this post cracked me up. So men too dig golds. Lol @ Sirius. Better stick to the rabbit.

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...

butter cup come o!...i see you did the same thing at fumns...kai! Miss DM how did u let her get away with that?

Shubby Doo said...

Miss DM we need to deal with buttercup o!...this spamming must stop!

actually come to thing of it she chanced u on the post dedicated to u being top with the comments...chei! LMAO...the irony of that one caused to to laugh so much my belly ached

Shubby Doo said...

buttercup...na wa o! can't help smiling cos your cheerful tenacious spirit reminds me of what i was like when i was younger... ahhh... the exuberance of youth...

p.s
i'm still vexing jare!!!

Shubby Doo said...

Miss DM can u imagine...she no even fit say sorry...na hehehehe come comot for her mouth...

buttercup charizard...watch out cos some serious ass whooping will follow...

Shubby Doo said...

i am wondering whether to send my mafia boys over to deal with you in SA...buttercup!!!

Shubby Doo said...

hmmm...maybe i will just drag your cute behind from SA back here to use it to wipe these comments off Miss DM's page....

Shubby Doo said...

MRS charizard ronaldo...you have incurred the wrath of an abagda daggers' assasin...flying snow is coming for u!!!!

Buttercup said...

lolololololololol! shubby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buttercup said...

awwwww i remind u of u when u were younger..i'll take that as a compliment.. :D

Buttercup said...

oh no..why did u tell miss dm that i chanced her on the post dedicated to her? shes gon deal with me so bad now!

Buttercup said...

i have to get my counter attack ready..

Original Mgbeke said...

Hahaha! My dear, it is a recession and these men aren't shameless about their motives anymore. Credit crunch don dey affect people...

flabby said...

hey boo- im bacck! holla at ur babes!xo

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Buttercup you have been given an ASBO. You are permanently barred from my blog due to crimes against my most loyal readers lol

Flabby, hey sweets missed you like crazy, am off to yours to see what you have been up to

Buttercup said...

U know u cant do that..not possible..lol..

Uh, how about an update? Hope u r good sha?