'I live in a space inside my head,a cluttered space crammed with random thoughts about life, love and the struggle of being a 27yr old african woman trying to 'find' herself but losing her self in the process.I always vowed when I was growing up that I would do things differently from my mother. As the years have gone by I find myself modelling my life on the woman I thought I wasn't strong enough to become,'(If you ever have the chance to meet my mother even once, to be given the chance to be half the woman my mother is, you will know that you have been truly blessed) Finally I have had to embrace the fact, that I'm nothing but My Mother's Child....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yes....Boys II Men definitely didnt sing a song about all mamas'

Seriously I have too much time on my hands to be posting this often, hopefully it will wear off coz i jus seem to be blabbering about rubbish....anyway better blogging than stressing rite? ......anyway when I started this blog my intention was not to write about YT, but it kind of took ova, now that that saga is closed, I can revert to my original intention ........'being my mothers child.'

(Ma is sitting in the living room doing her knitting....Definitely Maybe enters the room....)

Dm: Ma are you busy? I need to talk to you
Ma: You are already talking….. Is it important?
Dm: Well not really, I just need to ask something, Gina is throwing a party next weekend, can we go?
Ma: who is we?
Dm: me and small sister
Ma: so you are now small sister's spokesperson abi? Has she lost her voice?
Dm: no ma.......okay can I go to Gina's party?
Ma: Who is Gina? what party
Dm: You know Gina, Gina my friend, the one I told you was in hospital, and I didn’t manage to find time to go and see her.
Ma: Then if you didn’t find time to go and see her in hospital she is not your friend.
Dm: But Ma you know I was busy
Ma: But you are not too busy to go to her party heh?
Dm: (Silence)
Ma: Anyway I don’t know her,
Dm: But ma you spoke to her the other day when she came to the house
Ma: Yes but that doesn’t mean I know her, I spoke to that man who came here selling palm oil, does it mean now I can go to his parties and boogie?
Dm: NO ma......Okay do you want to speak to her mother
Ma: why? will speaking to her mother make me know this Gina?
Dm: No ma but it might help.......
(Dm then rings Gina's mum, puts her on loud speaker so Ma can also listen to her confirm abt the party)
G's Mum: Hello is that Dm's ma?
Ma: may I help?
G's Mum: I called just to confirm DM is invited to the party?
Ma: What party?
G's Mum: My daughter Gina is having a party
Ma: What is the purpose of the party, what are you celebrating?
G's Mum: Nothing in particular, its to reward her for behaving over the holidays..I just thought it would be nice, give her something to look forward to,just a small thing really, for her and her friends.
Ma: Are children not supposed to be behaving? why reward someone for doing something that they are supposed to be doing anyway? Unless you are saying this Gina of yours does not normally behave.........? anyway what is going to be done at the party?
G's Mum: Well there is no program its casual really, whatever they want to do
Ma: So are you saying anything goes?
G's Mum: Well not anything goes, they have to behave......
Ma: Will there be alcohol?
G's Mum: Yes only for the grown ups over 21...
Ma: Does Dm have to bring an ID?
G's Mum: Oh no!!!
Ma: Then how will you know whether they will be over 21 or not?
G's Mum: Well I know most of GIna's friends so.......
Ma: How old is my daughter?
G's Mum:Hello come again?.......I didnt understand the question..
Ma: My daughter DM, when is her birthday?
G's Mum: Oh I don’t knowthe exact date, but I know she is the same age as my daughter.
Ma: How will you know that, if you don’t know her birthday?
G's Mum:Well they were in the same class at school so I assumed……..
Ma: What if she was early starting school, or repeated a couple of years?
G's Mum: Well ah I hadn’t thought about that actually.....
Ma: In that case what other things about this party of yours did you not think about………?
G's mum: (Silence) ........
Ma: Hello? Hello?
G's mum: yes im still here......
Ma: leave this issue with me I will chew it over.....okay bye (ma puts the phone down)
Dm: (about to die from embarassment) Ma don’t worry, its okay, I don’t have to go, actually I don’t want to go anymore
Ma: Nxa don’t mess with my mind DM, I will shambock that confusion out of your head. if you didn’t want to go in the first instance, why did you waste my time speaking to that woman, next time if you don’t want to go somewhere don’t ask to go.
Dm: but Ma.... I thought you said I couldnt go anyway?
Ma: did I say you cant go heh? so are you thinking for me now.....?
Dm: No ma, i thought....ah... anyway..its okay...never mind..... So Ma are you going to let me go?
Ma: No I am not, because you said it is not really important that you go
Dm: Ma when did I say that?
Ma: At the beginning , when I asked if it was important?, you said it was not, so why should I let you waste your time doing unimportant things when you have more important things to do like study?
Dm: No I didn’t mean it like that......
Ma: If you didnt mean it like that, So why did you say it like that then?
Dm: I meant it was not urgent
Ma: So why did you not say, "Ma its not urgent but it is important?"
Dm: never mind ma(at this point I give up and start walking away, you can never win any battles with Ma the Lioness)
Ma: DM come back here right now!!! are you walking away from me?, ME?? your mother,what is this? have I said I have finished talking? nonsense!! what insolence is this? I warn you DM you are getting too big for your boots....there can not be two mothers in this house ohhh, Your father will have to hear about this your nonsense behaviour......

yes.............. boys II Men definitely needs to sing about my mama.


OluwaDee said...

"there can not be two mothers in this house"

D day my mother said those words 2 me, I knew I had 2 leave ASAP.

I stopped asking her 2 do things, n just told her, "I am goin... or I will be doing...".

I love her though.

Shubby Doo said...
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Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...


Doesn't the song go '...Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did...'

Don't they just!!!... lol

Do you know what? her house, her mother tried to pull rank on me when i moved out in my place...i looked @ her and she backed house my rules!!!

'...You taught me everything
And everything youve given me
I always keep it inside...'

mwah...2 my mama and 2 boyz II men for singing about mama

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

good song indeed.... growing up with an african mother is an expierence wo. Boys II Men should do another version for 'our african mothers' coz that song doesnt do them enough justice...It doesnt half sing their story...Crazy childhood in mama's house I could almost write a book

Chari said...

GBESE!!! All because of parrty?

well na u cause am naa...u gave her a chance to decline u mehn...

I'm not encouraging you to be rebellious buh mom is like that and when I was your was more convenient to jus plan my paroles TIGHT...I mean air-tight..and go and parrty straight up and come back and be mama's lil angel...

say wetin naa...

Chari said...

On the whole I feel your pain bad bad mehn...

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Chari my ma is sly as a fox, nothing can pass under her nose unnoticed, she can smell a party a whole year before it happens....she should have been a detective in another life...that woman would come back from work and smell that a boy had been in the house.....look out for my next post about the time she made us sleep outside in the pouring rain......

Afrobabe said...

lmao...your mom sounds like a lawyer...cant see anyone winning with her...

African mothers are in a league of their battles with my mum always ended with "wait till ur dad gets home, you will see"

Those words make me laugh now but scared the shit out of me as a kid...I would actually do nice things so she wouldn't pass it on to my dad...

Anonymous said...

gosh i love ur mama!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

@ afrobabe my ma used to say 'in this house , I'm the lawyer, the judge and the jury!!!!! With mama you were never ever guaranteed a fair trail. If ma said you were guilty, then you were deemed guilty...even if it later turned out that someone else was the guilty party ma would still blame you for 'acting guilty'. In her own words 'its your fault coz you act so shadily so don't blame people for accusing you of doing things, coz if you didn't behave like a thief no one would suspect you of stealing.
@ geishasong, yes even I too, loved mama....most of the times that is ;-)

fluffycutething said...

LMAO chei you shoulda just bailed to the party or something LOL but knowing your mama you probably woulda been busted by your front door LOL

Ms Sula said...

I love African mothers! Oh my god! Your ma is hilarious!

The drilling was just out of this world. :)

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

fluffycutething I wouldnt dream of sneaking out, there are much easier and less painful ways to commit suicide.

miss Sula, the drilling is still out of this world....

Aphrodite said...

DM, ur mum is super cool

She is just protecting ur ass.

Jarrai said...

LMAO!!! Ha, African not mess with them

When i was in my teens my mums favourite word was NO!!!
I stopped asking eventually and went "under g"(wink wink)

Then, when i was being shouted at and dare to look her in the eye she'll be like " so u are looking at me as i am talking,'re not sorry" If i put my head down she will say " you are not even looking at me, so you think you're a big girl"

Haba, how can one win??? I still laugh when i think about that... heheheheheh

Mz. Dee said...

dis soundz EXACTLY lyk my mother!!!
not an inch of difference!!!

Buttercup said...

oh my word...lollllll gosh..

Free-flowing Florida said...

lol. ur mama na pure character!!!!

archiwiz said...

LOL...I would have continued walking away... I've told my parents that they can't be asking me some types of questions ohh...I might still be eating from your hand but condition wey make crayfish bend.

archiwiz said...

But seriously that was embarassingly embarassing oh..Hmmm... I would have gone to my friend's house to apologize to her mum on the sly...

aloted said...

hehehehe..your mum is in a different league of her own..hehehehehe kai..! but men she finished ur friend's mum ..hope Gina no vex for u

rethots said...

....'tis a lie.